Lost & Found

From Lexicanum

Just Another Day

Just another day at the office other then there has been a cabinet reshuffle and the office have been in effective purdah for a week, waiting for your new elected master to be assigned. The civil service may run more efficiently without the minister but that is neither here nor there. As a result, all of the team with the exception of Paul are down at the Crown & Squid enjoying their unexpected down time. Paul studiously decided to stay in the office and catch up on paper work. Then suddenly his phone rings and Paul finds himself talking to Stanley Gubbins, head of RASIP who explains that his building is in lock down but he is supposed to brief the new PPS in 20 minutes so he will have to do it and give him the following briefing:


Paul then collects the team from the pub after bribing them with free food and they all head up to Whitehall to brief the PPS.

At Admiralty Arch the team is ushered into a rather nice meeting room where they are each issued with an agenda.
The door opens and a dynamic, forceful head of hair enters the room, closely followed by its owner. He shakes your hands firmly and warmly, a good handshake that makes your input feel valued.

Paul performs the invocation successfully. The briefing then proceeds as well as can be expected given Damien Holt clearly hadn’t read his papers and the team had only seen the agenda 5 minutes before. Fortunately, Lizzy manages to keep Damien Holt focussed who, as a result, fails to notice the lack of preparation.

Part way through the meeting the team notices the burning sulphur again and the meeting protective wards collapse under magical assault and the door flies open slamming into the wall taking a chunk out of the wood panelling. Standing in the doorway is Angleton (Permanent Private Secretary, Head of Counter possession Unit) and he looks very unhappy. After ordering out Damien Holt MP he drags in a young man wearing a hand dog expression giving overwhelming impression is that of a naughty schoolboy, with Angleton playing the part of demon headmaster. Angleton scribbles a vastly more powerful privacy rune on a sheet of paper. Angleton introduces Mr Geoffrey Piper from GCHQ who has done something rather silly and left a laptop, with a PowerPoint briefing on the Laundry’s staffing, budgets as well as operations, in the taxi. Angleton gives the team the following instructions:

The chase is on!

The team question Geoffrey and establish he left the Laundry’s New Annex at 10:45am and hailed a black cab from outside. The cab driver was a white male, around 40 or so years old, with a shaved head, tattoos, and a Cockney accent. Geoffrey cannot recall the cab’s number or the driver’s name. The taxi dropped him off and he realized the laptop was gone almost immediately. Geoffrey confirms that the laptop is password-protected with a strong password. If you enter the wrong password three times in succession, it displays a glyph that devours the mind of anyone who sees it. There is a background application on the laptop that automatically connects to the internet if there is a wifi signal within range and ‘calls home’ to the Laundry. As soon as the laptop is switched on, it should inform the Laundry of its current location.

Paul uses his laptop to monitor the Laundry network for that signal and to set up a warning so he would be informed when the signal is received.

Angus contacts lost and found who confirm no laptops have been received that morning.

Lizzy contacts the Public Carriage Office who tells her that there are 20,000 license taxis in London; a sizable proportion driven by balding white men so without a taxi number they can’t be much help.

Gideon suggests CCTV so the he and Lizzy ask at reception to inspect the CCTV footage of the outside of Admiralty Arch this revealed the following:

A security camera overlooking the Mall clearly shows the taxi dropping Piper off for his meeting. The taxi then drives off. Strangely, although several people try hailing the taxi, the driver ignores them and zooms off, closely followed by a red van. The team obtain the taxi number and the registration of the van. A phone call to the police reveals that the van was stolen in Brighton that morning as well as the taxi is driven by a Mr. Tom Foley who is currently in West Dulwich and has just reported a robbery.

The team hail a taxi and go to the crime scene where they find Mr. Foley speaking to two offices next to his taxi. Mr. Foley explains that he was hailed from the side of the street but when he pulled over to pick up the fare, two other young men ran out of the alleyway and tried to steal the car. They were armed with crowbars and baseball bats; they prized open the passenger door and stole something off the back seat. They also smashed the front window but the driver managed to fight them off and they ran off down the alley. He remembered seeing a red van following him and he heard what sounded like a van taking off from the far end of the alleyway.

Paul and Gideon search the taxi for clues whilst the others were talking to the taxi driver and they find the following items:

• The remote control for the laptop
• a small piece of card, like a business card. Drawn on the front of the card is a magical symbol that swirls and shifts in an unnatural manner. The characters’ wards are triggered by the symbol—it is a mind-warping fractal. It devours memories. Written on the back of the card is an address—the street in West Dulwich where the taxi was attacked. This address is surrounded by another geas glyph.
• single-serving packet of sugar, the sort you get with a take-away coffee.

Meanwhile Major Travis heads off down the alleyway and starts looking for the van. Eventually he finds it parked up outside a Victorian terraced house with a for sale sign outside it and summons the rest of the team. Angus phones the estate agent but fails to get them to come immediately and Lizzy discovers the front door is locked. Paul, Gideon and Major Travis therefore investigate the back of the house where they discover that the row of houses back onto a grave yard. They get into the small back garden patio with slightly open patio doors. Gideon looks in to discover there is a body and the laptop in the lounge. Major Travis tries to enter only to be attacked by the mind eating screen saver but fortunately his ward stops it but fails under the assault. Paul remembering, he has the remote control switches the laptop off and the they enter. After letting in the rest of the team discover three bodies all either shot in the head or chest from close range. Angus also notices four coffee cups. At this point the police arrive and as Lizzy is going outside to talk to them she is confronted by another laundry agent, Diana Renne, a short, mousy brunette with thick glasses, an upturned nose with a faint smell of coffee surrounding her. She is dressed in a green rain coat over a sensible skirt and very sensible shoes and she has got a large shapeless handbag hanging from her shoulder. What the hell are you doing here?’ she snaps. The team explain, after a bit coaxing, that they were here to retrieve the laptop. Diana explains that she was sent by Stanley Gubbins to this address to pick up the laptop after being contacted by the security program in the laptop. He ordered her not to tell anyone about the mission and to bring the laptop straight back to him. He also told her that the police had to be present when she found the laptop but that they should not be allowed to examine it. It all seemed a bit odd to her but she is not one to question orders.

At this point Paul takes a phone call from Angleton; he is not happy and demands to know what they have found. When told of a potential conspiracy he is cheered and responses with the following instruction:
At this point Diana notices the missing CD. Pointing out that it looks as though Gubbins left the CD in the drive by accident, which is a horrible breach of security. She will have to have words with her boss about that, once they are finished dealing the issue of the circumstances of the laptop with him.

Meanwhile Angus discovered a boot mark of a fourth person in the back garden going towards the grave yard but can’t track it.

Lost and found part 2

Paul takes another phone call from Angleton:
Paul explains the situation and Angleton instructs the party to proceed to the RASIP offices to confront Stanley Gubbins and he will send over what backup he can. Diana Renne provides the address of the RASIP offices and suggests that she follows up on the boot mark. Angus is not happy with this as he suspects Diana of involvement due to her whiff of coffee and the extra coffee mug.
 
The party head off to the RASIP offices by taxi and obtain a receipt. On arrival the party is met by the sight of the RASIP building as follows:
 
RASIP occupies one wing of what was a Victorian insane asylum that was bought by the Laundry a few years ago. Yes, they’ve heard all the jokes. It’s an impressive building, if you like exotic forms of mould, leadbased paint and more twisted gargoyles than you probably want on a hospital. Two of the wings are still being renovated, but RASIP has been operating out of the East Wing for four years now. The thought of Laundry cubicles in a padded cell cuts a little too close to the bone.
 
At this point the backup arrives by taxi in the form of Dr Emma Etheridge, a recently recruited doctor. After introducing each other by flashing warrant cards they proceed to the building where they discover the following sign with a magical glyph above it preventing anyone without a warrant card from reading it:
 
 
On stepping inside the party discover the place stinks of fresh paint overlaying mildew and a zombie receptionist behind the front desk. It moans at the party “Closed… There is … problem….Look at sign…. Go away”

Paul asks to see Stanley Gubbins and the zombie picks up the phone and stares at it. On the phone there is a Post-It note on the handset saying “do not use”. Paul then spots the problem and peels off the note then asking again. The zombie phones Stanley Gubbins and hands the phone to Paul. After an initial introduction Stanley tries to fob off Paul with:
 
 
But after Paul presses the point that he knows about the plot Stanley loses the plot and starts ranting down the phone:
 
 
The party hears a siren go off and shutters slam shut over doors and windows locking tight. Oh and from down the corridor the party hears moaning. After a few moments the party seen the bizarre sight of 6 zombies advancing dressed in old Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food boiler suits armed with a variety of agricultural implements.
 
The party springs into coherent action as follows:
·         The Major and Angus grab some scaffolding poles to attack the zombies.
·         Paul starts a banishment spell on his laptop and tries to hit them with it.
·         Emma has a conversation with the receptionist zombie and asks for a map of the building.
·         Gideon attacks the metal shutters and realising they are solid starts sobbing “we are all doomed”

Eventually the zombies are overcome by a combination of being battered with a laptop, several poles and some stones thrown by Emma. Not to mention helpful advice from Gideon once he had pulled himself together.

The Major took a tin of paint from the construction area and then the party then proceeded down the corridor towards the stairs at the far end noting that the former patient cells had been turned into office cubicles. At the bottom of the stairs Paul spotted that there was flashing warning lights on the security camera. The Major noticed that where the camera pointed the paint was peeling and when it scanned past a no smoking sign it smoked busting into flames. Paul retreated to an office with his slightly dented laptop to see if he could hack the security system and switch the cameras off. Gideon tried to dodge past the camera but failed receiving a glancing blow causing his clothes to burst into flames receiving severe burns to his arm. Angus had the idea of borrowing a mirror, taping it to a scaffolding pole and using the camera’s reflection to disable it. He managed to disable the camera. Meanwhile Paul announce he had hacked the system and turned off the cameras on the first floor but not the second floor.
 
The party went up the stairs to proceed along the corridor past labs with an inordinate amount of brainwashed lab mice marching up and down in regimented rows as well as a server room. Paul tried to hack his way into the server room until Gideon got bored and typed in random numbers triggering the alarm sealing the room. Angus noticed a waft of coffee in the corridor and started looking for the source. At the next set of stairs, the party disabled the camera using the mirror on a pole method and proceeded on to the second floor.
As they advanced down the corridor they could hear Stanley talking on the phone from the far office:
 
 
Interspersed with grunts and the sound of heavy objects being dragged.
 
As the party approaches Stanley’s office the next thing the party notices is:
 
Your vision blurs, then fractures. Suddenly, you are seeing two places at once. You are where you were but you are also standing in a plush office, surrounded by thaumaturgical gadgetry. You feel an unfamiliar weight on your upper lip as the psychic echo of a moustache sprouts there. You can also feel your upper lip stiffen. Your hand curls around the receiver of a phantom telephone. You are Stanley Gubbins and Stanley Gubbins is you.
 
 
The party is ordered to kill each other by whatever means they have. They attack each other half-heartily shouting out warnings before attacking whilst the Major manages to break his nose by whacking himself with a scaffolding pole. Meanwhile they can hear Stanley on the phone to the Minster:
 
 
Eventually the party singly failing to hit each other manages to get to Stanley’s office where he puts down the phone and surrenders.
 
Suddenly there is a gunshot and Gubbins’ head jerks back. He collapses to the floor, blood gushing from the neat hole that just got punched in his forehead.
 
 
It is Diana Renne, or at least her voice. You cannot see her.
 
 
The Major realises the voice came from the corridor and throws the pot of paint into the corridor bursting open on impact covering the floor. Paul realises that Diana is using an invisibility cloak and that there should be a set of goggles to match it. The Major dives into Diana’s office to search for them meanwhile the invisible Diana follows to the entrance of the office shooting at the Major but missing. Emma seeing a second set of paint foot prints (of sensible shoes) tries to grapple Diane with help from Angus. Whilst the three of them struggle the Major finds the goggles, spots Diana, and fells her with one punch.

Angleton contacts the party to tell them that everything is back under control, thanks them, and tells them that someone will be down from head office with a letter of release to open the building.