The Cooks of Curnith
Act One: The Despicable Journey
Sallying forth from their various places of origin, perhaps simply full of wander lust or perhaps returning home our noble protagonists acquired passage with the renowned company of a worthy merchant named Garalfth of Saskervoy -
heading across the Land of the Falling Wall and thence
unto the renowned port city of Kaiin. The train of well-guarded
wagons pulled by stout beasts of burden was hardly stylish but was well
protected by armoured out riders & stout glyphs of warding &
protection, it’s food and wine was well reputed & whilst slow our
friends travelled in some comfort. A week into the journey as the
forest of Trues faded into the borders of the Southern desert the wagon
train was set upon by a host of masked bandits in black accompanied by
terrible creatures of combat. A confused melee ensued and next
they knew our brave fellows awoke high upon a dune in the desert near a
huge fallen black pillar of the darkest basalt. Introducing themselves the group explored their options and decided it best to head South making for the gap in the mountains known to lead towards the lands of Kaiin. Notable Pother discovered he had awoke laying upon a small black arrow fletched in purple & green with a nauseating substance seemingly worked into its blade. After some discussion about whom should be stabbed (in the name of research no doubt?) Porther discarded the arrow which Careless noted & instructed Bertha to retain said implement of archery. Travelling south for about half a mile the worthies set up a rough camp around a boulder that Bertha discovered had gathered some moisture underneath. Fenwick summoned forth his magic and cast Phandaal’s Critique of chill to keep them warm & comfortable through the night. Thus protected & with damp sand for sustenance our hero’s settled down for the night not setting guard duties as such things are clearly left for folks less notable than our company of players.
Act Two: or Pendal’s Palace explored
The group was disturbed from their rest as the magic of Fenwick’s Phandaal’s Critique of Chill failed them!! Plunging them into the cold chill of the desert night – with much immediacy the group noted that inestimable Carcus Vallo was nowhere to be seen & had apparently vanished into thin air. There was a divot in the sand where he had rested but his personage lacked apparency!!! They searched hither & thither but he could not be found – clearly the worthy soul had decided that he was a burden upon them and had silently walked away from the group in the early hours – though Roxanna-Marie established that there were no tracks of any sort. So either Carcus was some sort of hugely skilled foot-pad or some sort of invisible weightless creatures had removed him from the arms of the company. The group kept warm as best they were able – Pother doing calisthenics until he got bored and wandered higher up the dune than the camp to note that the huge Pillar stone pillar had rotated itself. All very strange.In the morning our group of four set forth with rumbling stomachs and thirsty tongues heading towards the pass in the mountains to the South. A hot dry day was had until towards mid-afternoon they crested yet another dune and noted a brick built construct just peeking out of the sand in the lee of the dune. Investigating that formed the opinion that the it was the summit of a well built chimney!! Digging down (by hand – such harsh physical labours!!!!) some five feet they
came across the corner of a green lustrous roof – between them they
managed to pry several tiles loose and pull/push them aside revealing (somewhat
surprisingly) a bedroom some 10 feet further below.
Illuminated by their own pinkish light were a huge bed, a great wardrobe
and a dressing table with a black featureless mirror. They all eventually
descended unto the depths and explored the place which appeared to be the upper
levels of a palace buried & forgotten beneath the sands numerous millennia
agoIn the Bedroom the wardrobe contained - several fine kaftans one notable for the mirrors and gems adorning it and another for the whirling designs upon it representing galactic arms one might assume [PENDALS GALATIC KAFTAN] - two ornate turbans (one with a large gem and golden antenna) and one plain leather travelling turban [PENDALS TURBAN OF PERSISTANCE] – three pairs of Turkish slippers, one ornate and bejewelled, one stout and well-heeled for travelling [PENDALS STRIDENT SLIPPERS] and another somewhat of a comfortable/damaged/worn design – many silk shirts and silk under garments all sized for a gentleman of significant girth (perhaps size 30/32), The dressing table was secured with a lock of much significance and constructed of dense ebony – beyond the capabilities of the groups fencing blades & lack of quick fingers to break open. The bed was an enchanted thing that was little more than an ornate sheet which floated in the air providing a bed as it were mad of clouds. Proceeding into the hallway Fenwick found doors to two other rooms & the top of a stairway choked with sand & rubble . Entering the bathroom the group played with the odd plumbing for a while and were able to drink some cool water (albeit with the flavours of pine or the remains of ancient bath salt laden fluid) eventually they worked out the three shells on the sink and got to drink much clean water until Pother managed the break the mystic mechanism. Something troubled Fenwick & Roxanna about the room but neither could put their finger on it.
The group proceeded forcing the Study door with sufficient subtlety so as not to cause further structural damage to the already somewhat sand filled room. Within was a worktable littered with all sorts of paperwork and a lot of sand, a flimsy looking observatory (with no telescope) and a white book on a lectern illuminated by a large candle that burned with a purple flame. Wary of the weak looking structure of the observatory Fenwick took the book and the candle only to be verbally abused by the disembodied DEMON who’s charge the book was – blowing out the candle Fenwick noted that firstly the demon could no longer harrang him and secondly that without the purple light of the candle the grimoire was no longer legible [PENDEL’S GRIMORE]. The group rested in the bedroom after exploring the pan dimensional bathroom’s water supply (quite how Fenwick climbed up into the roof void with books & candle is a matter which we shall not discuss) & proceeded into the desert at night fall travelling through the night and resting under the shade of their borrowed kaftans during to following day – they were disturbed by a strange lowing noise from the direction they travelled in (either, they speculated it was the sound of frightened beast of burden or perhaps it was the sound of a predatory animal complaining about its lot).
Starving hungry and thirsty again now that the aqueous fortune of the palace was so far behind they moved on and once again towards the middle of the night they crested a dune to reveal the rocky beginnings of the foot hills. There were odd bushes – heavy with brightly coloured fruit and the deceased body of one cow-like creature dead from a massive bite to the throat! Charging forward Fenwick and Roxanna set to butchering said beast with nothing but the fencing sabres in the party – fortunately none of these expensive blades suffered damage at such mistreatment. Quickly many meaty treats were consumed (raw! How positively Neanderthal of our supposed polite company ) and were hung upon the bushes to dry out in the coming days heat (Jerky! Oh the suffering/the hardship and the slipping standards) . Bertha & Pother both tried the fruits [LUTHINS DREAMING PLUMS] – whilst juicy, nutritious, and delightful such wonderment was rapidly followed by wild hallucinations and unconsciousness. Roxanne noted a light far away in the darkened dunes moving towards the group & for some reason (perhaps some obscure ritual in religious thanks for the food?) Fenwick removed Pother’s hat - filled it with strips of raw liver and returned it to Pother’s head – strange are the behavioural changes wrought upon the mortal form by lack of food & water.
Act Three: Oh Those ravenous Ull’s !!!!
Whilst Pother and Bertha dreamed their narcotic dreams Careless wandered in from the desert somewhat lost and almost dead from his journey’s hardship. Fortunately some food and the last of the water from the soaked and extra large wizards underpants was able to make our friend feel somewhat more welcome and closer to the land of the living. With some efforts the group got a fire going and cooked some of the meat. Careless busied himself filling Pother’s pockets with fruit for some reason best known to himself.
Some four hours later with the two sleepers now awakened the group settled down to rest for the coming day setting watches such as they were able, Pother having consumed another plum upon hearing he had guard duty (a 5 hour sleep for his second journey). Towards the end of the day Roxanna sat watching the sun start to set when she was surprised by the gentle coughing of an eight foot tall (sitting down) jackal headed dog that sat some five feet behind her on a dune dressed in a fine brocade jacket studded with gems. The creature introduced itself as SIR FEROX a SILAT [A FORM OF BENEVOLENT CREATURE FROM BETWEEN WORLDS] – Ferox and Roxanna wandered away from the came as Fenwick was getting prickly about his disturbed rest.
SIR FEROX explained his wandering nature and his desire to help travellers in need and them went on to inform Roxanna of the RAVENOUS ULLS [A RACE OF HUNGRY PSUEDO INTELLIGENT MONKEY/REPTILE EATING MACHINES WHO SHOW NO MERCY AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO GIVE UP] who he’d warned off from following the group.
At that point Ferox pointed out that the party was under attack and that the ULLs were moving in despite SIR FEROX’S treats – he offered to obliterate them with his PRISMATIC RAY but warned that there would likely be casualties as it wasn’t the most subtle of spells. Roxanna thanked him for the offer and declining running to alert her companions. The ULLS were quite offensive, many multiples of tens in number and extremely hungry – they stole the remains of the cooked meet, the drying meat, the carcass of the cow like creature & would have taken the unconscious Pother if the force field that materialised around him from his KAFT
AN would have allowed them to indulge in such
an endeavour!! Eventually the ULLS noted SIR FEROX walking down the dune and retreated. SIR FEROX was able to advise our noble company that a day to the North West was a spring that formed the source of the river that followed through the valley through the mountains and fell eventually down a mighty cliff some thousand foot high – another minor hurdle for our intrepid company to navigate. More urgently Fenwick pointed out was the fact that whist they might secure water from this alleged stream, they had nothing to carry it in!! SIR FEROX again came up with some important intelligence and told the group that some hand full of miles north of the spring there was the remains a village – with luck there in they might be able to find remains to assist them in their quest – finally SIR FEROX suggested that the group abandon traveling by night as by night the ULLS were active – he then stepped upon a cloud and vanished into the morning light
.
A little later that morning the group abandoned Pother whom they couldn’t move & set out for the spring. Eventually Pother came round and noted that the Kaftan could be verbally commanded to drop the force field allowing him to follow his colleagues. The advice of SIR FEROX appeared true and our noble companions reached said spring – which proved to be pure a clean a coming forth from the ground at some rate of knots. To the North of it was some sort of primitive sign which clearly stated that the spring was the property of the ULLS. Moving in a vaguely Northern the group came across the archaeological remains of a small village – barely overgrown walls and lumps in the ground. Lacking proper archaeological training the group scrabbled around until eventually the came across a metal trapdoor that let into the cellar of a ancient public house. They recovered many comestibles and spent the night is the secure shelter of the cellar – Pother this time feeling that natural sleep better suited his needs and Fenwick trying once more to persuade the demon of the candle to allow him to read the grimoire, to no avail as this time he claimed to the Arch-Mage’s Heir (but could not pass the test). The ULLS attempted to get into the Cellar but were frustrated by Careless using his (and everyone-else’s) body weight to dead weight the door.
In the morning the team set off to follow the river ensuring that they were on the South side to avoid having to traverse the rapidly widening path of the swelling steam. By evening the river was a good hundred feet wide and no bridge remained in tack enough to allow passage to the other side – so again our noble wanderers has beaten the odds. In the dark they noted a small house on the river back with a lit leathern glaring out in to the night, investigating they discovered a small well-appointed dwelling – centred upon a kitchen, with tiled floors – running water and a couch for relaxing. They began to settle down for the night when the host – a genial Fish man (whose name being unpronounceable allowed them to address him as Chef Bob) with a pleasant hospitable attitude turned up & offered to cook them dinner. Careless had already decided that there was not room for him in the house & had lashed himself to the stout arm of a tree for the night – Pother had taken a 7 HOUR dosh of plumbs and was dead to the world! The rest of the group enjoyed the finest dinner which they procured for a couple of bottles of wine, their host retired to the river (under which was the rest of his dwelling) promising them eel pie to break their fast in the morning. During the night a whistling traveller was spotted heading back in the direction of the lands of the ULLS but Roxanna decided not announce their presence.
In the morning Careless awoke feeling surprisingly refreshed and joined the others for the promised breakfast of fresh eel pie (which proved to be a culinary triumph) Roxanna noted down the recipes of Chef Bobs’ fare and about mid-morning they set off along the river bank heading for the great water fall and thence South along the cliff top road to the merchant village of WAYDOWN.
Act Four: WAYDOWN and onwards or Ware the Primal expedient for Tis a Bunyanesque one!!!
Come
late afternoon our worthy aggregation of noble personages had reached
the gates of the merchant town of WAYDOWN [notable for the lifting gear
assembly of METRIGAN THE ELDER – installed by said worthy after the
great collapse many millennia ago; a huge mechanical amalgamation of
technological marvels that grant gentle decent & or ascent to
cultured individuals of merit both to & from the fascinating lower
lands] they were greeted at the portal to the town by a scrupulous
watchman who challenged them regarding their nature as friend or foe
(at Halberd point no less).
All others immediately professed
their friendship for the good folk of WAYDOWN, but Fenwick answered
that how could he know if he were a friend of the watchman or not?
He
proposed a truce and that they discuss the matter after the watchman
got off duty - ARTHUR [The put upon watchkeeper – with a harridan of a
wife and loud children & a passion for home brew] responded in the
affirmative and they formalised their appointment for later than
evening in the lounge bar of the public house.
The
noble wanderers made their way into the town – a quaint little place,
well-kept and clean – clearly full of house proud types who might be
worried that an untidy town could plummet over the edge of cliff were
it to become disorganised.
Above the town sat the monstrously
huge lifting gear – essentially in terms that we who look into the game
(or in game perhaps – such that extremely well tutored archaeologists
might be able to comprehend) a train cartridge linked to a strip mining
lifting gear, a monstrous counter weight, gigantic cable spooler, two
telescopic digging arms from a massive land stripping device and parts
of a nuclear power station, with a ticket office attached: all lashed
together & bound to the side of the edge of the world with vast
chains, flashing & sparking cables, spewing steam funnels and stout
metal beams left over from perhaps the cassis of an aircraft carrier!
Making
their way to the Public House (whose sign did not help render context
to its artwork as it depicted some sort of mammal-like creature “doing”
something to an alien object and offered no text to name the
establishment) and entering. They found it a comfortable - if a
stuffy & formal establishment whose Land Lady [OLD MARY] kept a
strict house & brooked no nonsense from its patrons. Careless
introduced himself as a purveyor of fine wines & after some debate
over the veracity of his paper work they took to negotiating over some
of the finer wines that our alleged vintner had to offer. It
emerged that Mistress Mary was of no match to the cut and thrust of
Careless’s puissant negotiations & the company made a huge sum of
coin on the wine! The landlady passed over the coin and went to
lay down, quite overcome form her exertions.
The group enquired
about transport to the lower lands – discovered it was an expensive
endeavour (but not one now out of their - now rather well-heeled -
means) – that safe passage could in no way be guaranteed and that oft
it was told that the legendary sky-pirates were alleged to prey upon
the poor souls who descended to the lands below – were introduced to a
group of travellers from Allmery who were also awaiting passage down –
gained the acquaintance of their translator, a man who had entered into
a negotiation with these ruthless swarthy types over a small book and
found himself agreeing lifelong indentured servitude in exchange for
the book.
Fenwick met Arthur in the public bar & over a pint
or three the pair forged a pleasant friendship - Arthur inviting
Fenwick to dinner at his place the following evening. An
agreeable dinner later and the party took to their rooms – all having
an excellent night’s sleep other than Careless who awoke to discover
that his cups with the dancing ladies in provocative poses had vanished
and that Fenwick’s purple candle was lit. Apparently it had lit
itself with no aid!! In the morning the worthy Careless moved in
with the good Pother (who having had plumbs for supper had little to
say on the matter!)
Come
the morning our friends went to the lifting station & negotiated
passage for a day hence (at the next decent) for an unnegotiable – eye
watering sum of money. They then went wandering in the town
taking in the sites & talking with the locals. Roxanna found an old
abandoned Wizard/Priest’s tower but didn’t investigate any
further. The group spent the day pottering about picking up
comestibles to make the journey a little more pleasant and gathered
again in the unnamed tavern that evening (other than Fenwick who made
his way to Arthur’s for an unexpectedly pleasant meal with Mrs Arthur
and the kids). The group got talking to the Allmeranian merchants
and the tale of the plumes was told. The merchants were
fascinated by the things and offered Pother a large sum of money most
of his stash (which he took) – Careless (ever true to his name)
mentioned where the Plumes grew (which interested the merchants
heavily) the merchants made their excuses and vanished on
business. Other than the pie that Pother made (revealing hither
too concealed bakery skills) with the remains of the Plumes and the
catastrophic effect on the management of the pub with no name, a
pleasant evening was once again had.
In the morning the group
set forth to the lifting equipment only to find that the Allmeranian
merchants had cancelled their trip and the worthy company had the
compartment of the train cartridge to themselves. The steward
JOHN OF NOAKES (A small village further along the cliff apparently)
showed them on board directed their attention to the doors, the
ladders, the comfy seats, the coffee & tea making facilities, the
privy, the three emergency defence crossbows, warned them again of Sky
Pirates, strange Buccaneers of the air, accident statistics and (having
naturally boosted their confidence) said that he would be in his cupola
on the roof directing the decent if they needed anything. Rossana
offered to bring him up a cuppa when they were underway – for which he
was very grateful.
With a huge jolt & a ringing of bells the lift commenced.
Act Five: A Disagreement in the Firmament
Our worthy travellers descended in the incredible sky lift towards the lands of the Scaum Valley at a genteel pace, at their leisure took advantage of the beverage construction facilities availing themselves of the fine biscuits to boot! Fenwick made himself comfortable with his Grimoire an snoozed for the whole the journey (clearly inured to such distractions as came to pass). Meanwhile it emerged that someone was occupying the water closet – some lengthy discourse with this worthy took place and the conductor was summoned from his cupola to administer company regulations.
In due course Perfidious Albion emerged, a noble soul who may (or may not) have had a valid ticket & been sojourned in the convenience at length due to a alleged poorly baked biscuits!! Discussion of these facts and the safe resolution of the truth became confused at this point as bothersome Sky Pirates attacked the cartridge meaning to relive our friends of their valuables & perhaps other inconveniences such as their lives?
It is most bothersome and narratively inconvenient to relate such an uncouth physical confrontation. However, it quickly emerged that our companions were more than a match for these no doubt capable combatants who died spectacularly through such methods a fire stick, high powered anti vehicular crossbow, long bow, impalement and or fire!
Our companies own trusty vehicle suffered some damage to the front (where the Pirates air car grappled the carriage) and to the windows – where other pirates swung in from the roof having dispensed with the conductor.
Albion & Vallo went across the pirate’s craft and manged to free it’s grappling gear from the carriage – the pilot of said vessel having jumped to freedom trusting his fate to the parachute on his back.
Roxanna went up to the conductors cupola and worked with the controls to allow the decent to continue – keeping the number of flashing red lights to a minimum.
After another few hours the carriage finally touched down and they were greeted by the concerned factotum of the decent company – after a lengthy debate our heroes’ negotiated a full refund and an endorsed voucher for a free ascent or decent (non-transferrable, though they neglected to ask).
Recompensed our group of worthies turned their feet toward Cuirnif & the festival!
Act 6 – And Finally Unto Cuirnif
I trust that you are sitting comfortable children?
Good!
They were directed in the proper manner to reach the esteemed dwelling place of Cuirnif and told to ask at Farmer Vales along the way if they should need overnight repast.
They went upon the wooded way almost skipping through the pleasant Autumn morning until Albion and Careless noted something strange off the road. They investigated and Stumbled upon a huge glass building which they identified as of Elf construction – our friends played with this for some time & whilst only there for a short period of time found that once they left most of the day had past them by. They met with [FATHER FESTUS] a hermit who allowed themselves to rest in his well appointed cave on a hill opposite the Elf building. He proved to be a student of all things Elf and he and Fenwick spoke of all things Elf until the early hours over a glass or two of Festus’ Ruby Mead. In the morning our friends walked swiftly out of the woods and into farmland. Moving at a prompt speed South eventually unto the bustling town of Cuirnif avoiding along their route the need to negotiate dwelling with the sour tempered [FARMER SEPTON VALE – he of ill repute a lightning charged blunderbuss and6 trained Dragon Dogs]
Cuirnif town was in full swing of the festival with people of all flavours everywhere. Most of our friends went shopping restocking on everything they had been son long without. Those whom enjoyed luxury (that is everyone expect Pother & Albion in the first case) obtained rooms at our about the Five Owls tavern and those others partook of the seedier side of life at the Howling Dog. [DUKE ORBAL] was much in evidence in the town – apparently staying at his townhouse for the duration of the festivities. [DAME BELEVANT] and her retinue were also in evidence upsetting many folk with her grandiose social ambitions. After much ado some folks (the part owner of the Howling Dog to be precise) attempted a weak swindle on Pother (which he ignored – much to their frustration!), Fenwick entered the eating contest as the champion of Dame Belevant. Roxanna (despite having no ingredients & no cooking tools) entered the cooking contest.
Our session ended with Fenwick at Dame Belevant’s mansion – enjoying a fine book a private room and space to read. Careless, Roxanne, Bertha & Albion at the Five Owls and Pother at the Howling Dog – the night was still young and all over the town could be heard firstly the sounds of merriment & parties and Secondly chefs prepping ingredients and practicing elegant and complex recipes for the festival.